11 -- Out of Focus
NOTE: This blog is a continuing dialog between the two faces of rilla. The identity crisis is explained (if such a thing is possible) in the first edition. Click here to read: 1 -- Introduction
rilla: I’m so excited!
Rilla: Now what’s got you chattering?
rilla: S got promoted! How about that! I’m so proud.
Rilla: Yup.
rilla: Time to celebrate. Bring on the bubbly.
Rilla: Yup.
rilla: What’s the matter? Aren’t you thrilled?
Rilla: Of course I am. Very, very proud.
rilla: Uh…then why are you frowning?
Rilla: Just wish I could be as proud of you.
rilla: Huh?
Rilla: Well, that’s what happens when you stick to something…persevere…do a steady, great job. You get rewarded and recognized. It pays off.
rilla: Ah!
Rilla: Now if you could stick to one thing…
rilla: Instead of running around trying to find myself…
Rilla: Find yourself…what is that, anyway? When did you get lost?
rilla: Look, some of us don’t reach the ripe old age of THREE and KNOW what we want to do with our lives.
Rilla: Why not? And by the way, you're a long, long way from three, you know…exactly when is the ball going to drop? When are you going to settle down, stop trying out new things?
rilla: The ball HAS dropped. I’m a writer. Remember? But as for trying out new things…I’m never going to stop. I’m a ‘Renaissance Woman’.
Rilla: Huh! That’s just a euphemism for dilettante, quitter…Focus, that’s what you need.
rilla: You sound like Mom.
Rilla: Mom! I’m nothing like Mom. I promised I would never turn into Mom, and I keep my promises. Even if they make me miserable the rest of my life. It’s a matter of principle, duty. No one knows what that means anymore…
rilla: Yup! More and more like her.
Rilla: SHUT UP! SLACKER, BLUDGER…!
rilla: This whole deal about principle. Sounds more like an inability to admit your mistakes. And what about my rights?
Rilla: Rights?
rilla: The right to pursue happiness.
Rilla: How long you going to keep up the pursuit? Catch up, already.
rilla: Hey! Just because my happiness took a while to find...doesn’t fall neatly into a category defined as normal…doesn’t bring in the steady income…doesn’t run 9 – 5…
Rilla: There you go…an excuse for everything… trying to justify your incessant mistakes.
rilla: And you? On and on about what a failure I am. Never changes…
Rilla: Yes! I'm consistent. It’s a matter of principle, dear, but what would you know about that?
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