This blog is the continuing dialog between two faces of rilla (most of the time!) Rant and rave with us. Leave a comment. Click on the 'nickname' button if you don't have a Google ID already.
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My Pic Of The Day
San Francisco Cable Car

Saturday, April 28, 2007

I -- Introduction

Rilla: Hello! I am Rilla. Who are you?
rilla: Hi! I’m rilla!

Rilla: How odd! How many of us are there?
rilla: Stick around and we might find out!
Rilla: So, tell me something while I stick around. How did you go about getting the same name as I?
rilla: Emm…maybe it’s something to do with being you?
Rilla: Preposterous! I am unique. When they made me, they broke the mold…
rilla: Ahem!
Rilla: Quiet! I was saying… this level of perfection is impossible to reproduce…
rilla: Ahem!
Rilla: Well, what is it?
rilla: I think I see another one of us…
Rilla: Where?
rilla: Is that panic?
Rilla: Panic? I am not prone to mundane emotions.
rilla: How about if you tell me about yourself?
Rilla: There is nothing to tell.
rilla: Well, for instance, I am a writer and an artist. How about you?
Rilla: I am perfect.
rilla: Mmm…perfection sounds downright boring if you ask me.
Rilla: Tell me about your writing.
rilla: I really did think pomposity was accompanied by an insatiable desire to discuss one’s self.
Rilla: Are you going to tell me what you write or is the writing part just another one of your juvenile pretenses?
rilla: You sound like my therapist. It’s always about me, never about her.
Rilla: You have a therapist?
rilla: No one’s perfect…oh I forgot.
rilla: You’re on a short leash! Maybe I should introduce you to our therapist…Oh all right. I am a children’s book writer.
Rilla: Really! I would never have guessed. Think you are the next J. K. Rowling…?
rilla: Funny, no one has ever asked me that.
Rilla: Aren’t you afraid?
rilla: Of what?
Rilla: Rejection.
rilla: Oh that. I’m past fear. Get rejected all the time.
Rilla: Must be painful.
rilla: Right. You’re so perfect you probably never get rejected. Wait a minute, you haven’t actually told me what you do…
Rilla: So when was the last time you got rejected?
rilla: Just the other day. Arthur A. Levine.
Rilla: Aha! You do want to be the next J. K. Rowling. What did you write to him?
rilla: Oh please, be original, everyone says that. I wrote: ‘Dear Mr. Levine:’
Rilla: Excellent way to begin a letter. Most original.
rilla: ‘All these years, I pictured the eminent Arthur A. Levine as an elderly, distinguished gentleman with a full head of curling grey hair, Romanesque nose, pince-nez, goatee… the kind of person one only views in profile.’
Rilla: Yes, go on…
rilla: ‘Then I had the opportunity to meet you at the recent SCBWI Summer Conference in LA. I wrote this letter anyway.’
Rilla: Brilliant! Insult the editor! Guaranteed to get the result you desire.
rilla: Yes.
Rilla: Did he write back?
rilla: No. His office did. They sent a faded Xerox copy of their letter head with an unsigned ‘better luck somewhere else’ note.
Rilla: You are fortunate they even wrote to you. Look, why don’t you give up this nonsense and get a real job. One that pays, one that you go into an office for, every day, five days a week…a real job.

rilla: I have a real job.
Rilla: Not one that pays the mortgage.
rilla: You’re the one who wanted the house with the pool.
Rilla: You are the one who ‘needed’ the ‘happy’ space that would ‘allow’ you to be creative.
rilla: You’re the one who wanted the granite kitchen and the wooden floors…
Rilla: You are the one who refuses to get a real job.
rilla: What is it you do again?

Read the full Query Letter


TBS said...

Yep. Rings true.

Katia Novet Saint-Lot said...

Rilla, well done ! I love your voice and I love the schizophrenic quality of that ranting. So true, so very human, isn't it? The struggling artist full of literary dreams and aspirations, and the more mondane and down to earth I-want-a-house-with-a-pool type. I can totally relate to that and I love the way you express it. Keep it up.

Peeyush said...

Rilla.....I like the schizophrenic stream of consciousness, also very funny! Why don't you consider comedy in addition to childrens writing?


Rilla said...

Great to find you at my blog and thrilled you find it humorous. I would love to consider comedy and in fact, this is the venue that I thought I would start out on. Hope you will continue to visit and comment as I intend to continue to inflict my brand of supposed humor on the cyberworld.

Ravi Balachandran said...

Rilla, Its really funny. Keep writing.

rilla said...

Thanks for dropping by, Ravi. Will get back to writing soon. Your blog looks interesting too!